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I can't link to her eloquent and closely-reasoned post on the subject because it's friends-locked, for obvious reasons, and for reasons that would become equally obvious if you could read the post, she's disabled comments. So I'm going to talk about it here, and see what emerges, with the underlying thought that while I agree whole-heartedly with all her reasons, I don't think they apply to me. I'm not a real person, you see. Never have been. Oh, I have a birth certificate and a passport, there's a physical body sitting here that used to resemble the avvie in the icon, and I have memories of a life spent mostly in the real world among people who might be able to vouch for my identity, if they cared. But for as long as I can remember, I've been living mostly inside my head, telling myself stories, singing myself songs, spinning off characters and scenes, because I have always known the difference between the real world and fantasy and I know which I prefer. I'm not a real person in the way that someone might say they're not a dog person. There are good things in the real world, of course, lots of them, but on the whole the real world doesn't seem to feel that it needs or wants me around, and when I try to interact with it beyond the minimum necessary for survival it makes that feeling perfectly clear to me. But one thing about the real world that I love is having real friends to talk to and exchange ideas and songs and stories with. It's best of all when I'm able to see them face to face and exchange real hugs as well instead of virtual ones, but for one reason and another that has been becoming less and less feasible, which is the kind of thing the real world tends to do that puts me off it. You can see where I'm going here: the internet, and LJ in my particular case, is my lifeline to where my friends are. When I get bored with the scene inside my head, I can reach out through the wires and find kindred souls all over the world. My friend says that LJ's "comment" feature encourages people to turn off their brains and react instantly and without thinking to what they read. I've never been able to do that. My brain may be old, clunky, made out of bits of two brains knocked together, missing several parts, held together by baling wire and lacking any kind of operator's manual, but one thing about it, it never stops trying to work. (Sometimes I wish to gods it would, just for a little while.) If you see something written here, as a post or a comment, you can be sure that I've thought about it. Maybe completely wrongly, and I'm as prone as anyone else to jumping to a false conclusion, but I can't write without thinking about what I'm writing, editing and re-editing on the fly, and probably going back in and editing again once I've posted. The brain is running all the time. There've been complaints about the grinding noises. To me the opportunity to comment and be commented on is one of the main points of being on a blog at all, and LJ has become one of my main homes on the net, along with various other forums. I don't think this is a waste of my time at all; it's not as if I'm doing anything else useful with it at the moment, and every so often in the course of my maunderings I come up with a good bit and surprise myself. I'm a writer, and this is writing. It takes a very great deal of upset to make me turn off my feedback. I fully understand why my friend is reclaiming her real life, and I applaud her. But I think I'll be staying here.
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Two responses: 1. Instant commenting, to my mind, resembles the instant feedback one gets in a real world face to face conversation. These may not be well thought out, but between the people conversing, the interchange of ideas is possible. This is what conversation is like, and it's one of the reasons that I like LJ. I've tried keeping a traditional-style journal, and it is too solitary to be of much use/pleasure.
2. With the way life is now, I'd say that for many people, something like LJ is part of RL. I've always had a very active inner life too, but with living abroad for many years, in a foreign language environment, I have come to find that however rich the inner life, it doesn't supply all my needs. The interactions of LJ, while they may not involve eye contact, as it were, give me the social milieu I've been missing. I've learned German, I've learned French - but one needs mother tongue interaction, shared perceptions, culture, jokes, quips, silliness... All of it. Life takes people away from one another - one grows up, one goes away, one's friends move away, one loses touch. Here, I'm most emphatically IN touch with new friends I have found. This may be a virtual space, but it's a very real one.
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For me, LJ is a convenient outlet (and incentive) for Writing, and so some of what I write here is Writing, but LJ is not implicitly that, so a lot of what I write here is more Chatting than Writing.
Thing is, chatting is easy and writing is ... well, effort / time / thought -- basically work, even when it's fun work and/or done for the love of it (or to quiet a nagging muse). After all, if writing weren't that, it wouldn't be the sort of thing we'd bother to talk about this way. But the net effect is that when I have a few momoents, or little energy, I dash off the easy suff -- the chattery -- and keep telling myself I'll get around to the Writing later (when I've gotten 'more urgent' things out of the way, when I'm more rested, etc.), with the result that I've got all these essay ideas piled up in my head squirming to get out, and a smll mound of guilt over not having gotten around to spending the time writing them.
(Er ... which is pretty much the definition of a writer-wannabe as opposed to a Writer, innit? *sigh*)
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Sorry you're going to get two of these (and the comment on the comment), but I felt my first version was sort of harsh especially since I don't know the original posting. *sigh* this is why I so seldom post and comment - second and third thoughts :).
First of all, I too am glad you're staying here. I really enjoy reading your posts.
Second, Live journal is as real as someone wants it to be. The comment feature like any other version of netiquette or etiquette can be used in more and less appreciated ways. It's social and it's community at heart and can uplift and infuriate (though more often someplace in between).
I have my live journal part of my life, I have my family, I have my friends who go back up to 20 something years of knowing me. I have close friends, acquaintances, and folks I don't even know but either enjoy reading what they write, or maybe seeing them in a coffee house when I stop in. I have other parts of my life which are presently dormant but have considered reawakening. All of these things are important to me for different reasons and I wouldn't want to give any of them up since they fill very different needs I have. This is not to say that it's all happy and uplifting but that's the point, to me. Life is a mix and I'm flying somewhere in the middle.
To me it's all real and it all keeps me whole, both inside and outside of my head.
*hugs*
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I have no life to reclaim, which is why I used to be happy to have LJ, #filkhaven and Potter/wiktt chat to try and convince myself I was real. I don't have the energy to try and interact anymore, but I find it hard to cut myself off from them completely because there are people out there that I would be unlikely to ever meet face to face and that I actually do give a damn about, even if it might not seem like it at the moment.
On the other hand, it seems to be that people are cutting themselves off from real life support in favour of the thoughtless throw away comments of people that on the whole wouldn't think twice about you if you fell off the edge of the world tomorrow.
I haven't seen the original post, but it appears from what you've said that it is more her perception of LJ that is the problem she has with the use of thecomments facility. To me it seems most LJ usage is either just a postcard of what is going on in people's lives or else another form conversation.
In my opinion, the comments button allows people to do exactly what they would do in real life conversation. Some will catch what you say and run on with it, some will pick out one or two bits (usually out of context) and use them to make their own points, which in all likelihood will have little to do with your original comment, and the majority will make a small noise to acknowledge they noticed you said something even if they didn't bother to take it all in. It's just that we don't notice so much unless it gets fixed to the page.
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